Take a Stand.
I, a true ice cream lover, pledge allegiance to the Pint Society and to the values for which it stands. I will strive to:
1. Make all efforts to finish the pint in one sitting;
2. Consume my ice cream straight from the pint, while lounging on the couch in my favourite T-shirt (no pants required);
3. Keep the pint secure in the far depths of my freezer where it shall remain hidden from hungry pint thieves until the time comes for (1) and (2);
4. Turn to ice cream in times of trouble, including but not limited to: breakups; crappy days at work; and Mondays in general; and
5. Spread the love of ice cream to all, regardless of race, language or religion.